Rubbish You Never Wanted to Know About Fuchsia!...but yet she insists on telling you anyhow.  Damn, she's annoying.

Born:  Yes.  Once.  That's plenty, though I do suspect I may have arisen, full formed, from a puddle behind the tobacco barn at the bottom of that hill.  That one there.  See?

Where:  In a smelly, rotten little southern town.  Lives now in a slightly less rotten, less southern, but much smellier city. 

When:  Several years before men landed on the moon (weeps uncontrollably).

Hair:  Black and red.  In reality grey and red (continues to weep).

Eyes:  Two.  Both olive green and very nearsighted.  I wear dorky Coke-bottle eyeglasses most of the time.

What Else?  What do you mean "what else?"!  5' 9"(6 ft. and scary in heels), 23 piercings, 15 tattoos, 2 major surgery scars, two very large left feet, hillbilly accent.  Happy now?  Criminy...

Sign:  Grumpy Toad.  Grumpy Toads don't believe in astrology.  It's crap.  We tend to think a lot of stuff is crap as well.  Grumpy Toads also spend quite a lot of time alone because we're a tad obnoxious.

Employed:  Barely.  Perpetual university art student.  Just wait 'til those student loans come up due.  Hoo boy.

Pets:  One horrendously bad cat that I haven't yet managed to kill. One dead baby alligator from the flea market.  Two of those stuffed dead Mexican frogs playing musical instruments.  That guy I lead around on a choke chain.

Where'd you get the name "Fuchsia" that you most horrendously misspelled?:  Swiped from Mervyn Peak's Gormenghast novels.  The spelling is from the character Lady Fuchsia Groan (Is that the British spelling of "Fushcia"?), one of the most depressing characters I've run across in literature.  Not that I'm depressed or anything.  Just grumpy.

What the hell are you listening to?  Joy Division, the Clash, Bauhaus, the Damned, the Cure, Ramones, PiL, Rasputina, Gary Numan, Devo, Sex Pistols, the Kinks, Velvet Underground, Chuck Berry, Benny Goodman.

You read way too much:  PG Wodehouse, Terry Pratchett,  Mervyn Peake, Henry Miller, JK Rowling, HP Lovecraft, Lemony Snicket, Edward Gorey.

Can't quite stay away from the TV, can you?  Dr. Who, Monty Python, Blackadder, Venture Bros., Invader Zim, Babylon 5, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Mythbusters, the Avengers.

Favorite Artists:  Marcel Duchamp, Max Ernst, Aubrey Beardsley, Salvador Dali, Jean Arp, Joan Miro, Luigi Serafini.

This is how you waste your time? FKiSS, metalsmithing, collecting vintage clothing & jewelry, corset-making, handspinning yarn, weaving fabrics, the Skeptics Society,  thrift stores & flea markets, Cheeze-Its, cluttering up my apartment with 100-year-old books & photos, reproducing vintage needlework & clothing, growing orchids & epiphytic cacti, throwing things at the cat,  jumping to conclusions and generally wasting everyone's valuable time.  

Goth?  That's Deathrock to you, bub.  Since 1985, apparently.  God I'm old.  (blows nose loudly for dramatic effect)  AND Bela Legosi's dead.  Wah.

Dork?  Hell yes.

Secret message!